Planning a funeral

[Blazey]

Strange as it sounds..ive made my wishes known to my family..you never know when it can happen..i'd rather they all know what i wished than to have to decide at a time when they are upset and grieving..its hard i know amy...but your family is doing what they should so you can have less to deal with when the time comes..we all have to go sooner or later..it dont make it easier to deal with tho does it.. [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[demon chloe]

Yesterday I woke to Marcy.... calling... saying...."meet me quick at the store..."...yada....

did that..

came home...got my act together... and went over to my moms....

My sister was home. I thought to do my MOm's taxes. I forgot. It was more than taxes. I walked in all happy and carefree... to hear....


funeral talk


We preplanned my MOm's funeral. That was so incredibly stressful. You see commercials on tv about loving couples preplanning their last days to save their loved ones the angst of going thru the motions..ect....... Truth in all that... but... it wasn't fun at all. For my Mom to sit there and decide all of the details was hard. Facing your own mortality is hard for most people, and being a person whos life hangs in a precarious balance, must be so hard.

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Was tense, full of emotion and yet oddly void of emotion and very exhausting. I came home and cleaned furiously... almost like I was trying to drive the very thoughts away from my mind.....

[*Olivia*]

there are so many things to think of...not just for those approaching that threshhold, but for everyone...we never know when the time will come and to leave family and friend searching for what they think we'd want, sometimes arguing over it, is not how i'd want it to be for me

it's so important to have a living will, plus a will leaving your property to whom you wish

i was at a funeral recently where there were huge divides amongst family members because the person who died, while having verbally indicated his wishes, had never had them documented....and the divide ranged from organ donation to cremation vs burial to church vs no church service to division of ashes, to raiding his personal effects before he was even cold, to changing the locks on his apartment to keep out other family members who closely resembled looters, the whole shebang turned ugly

it is pretty upsetting to see that kind of arguing going on at that point in time....it could all have been avoided

Fi

[demon chloe]

making your wishes known...is a good thing


this was a lil different... this was a funeral planner... .and coffin colors...and well, you know... the "let's face it...you pick now...or they pick for you" stuff....


and someone who every time they fall on the ground wonders when the last time will be.... it has got to feel different for them..... then one of us... thinking... "Hmmm...i will donate my organs....and i want to be sprinkled over Mt Ranier.... and"

Powerful stuff to meet your death issues head on........

My Mom has a health care initiative.... the latest in the "living will" type things for healthcare. If something happens to her....her wishes are in there.... We did that over Thanksgiving break.....


anyway.... hard hard stuff... but it lets the good stuff take its rightful course... as needed.

[*Olivia*]

your mum is very brave to have wanted to go into such detail, or perhaps for her it is a way of maintaining some sort of control over her life, in death

i can imagine it is deeply sad to have to go through that and i'm sure you and your sister made it as easy a journey as you could amy

we visualise so much in life....we visualise the face of the man we think will bring us happiness, we visualise our first day at work, we visualise a date with the guy we just met, down to infinite detail, we visualise and visualise and visualise.....

i suppose when the end of the road is approaching, this is something we wish to visualise too?

hugs

Fi

[1FINH]

All I can add is that for as bitter as my mom was she aged she stared cutting people out of her will. Not that she had a lot to offer in her will but what she had she made sure those she hated didnt get it. So towards the end (which I think she knew was around the corner) she came over to my house and handed me some an envelope with some cash in it and a copy of her will. She said she was going to the doctors and well she would get it when she came home. She never came home. All I can say in it all is that for as mean as she was, or for as much as she never planned or simply ran around like she had not 1 brain cell she had everything in order for her will etc. It made it simple and she pretty much left it all to me. I think in knowing that I would put the hate aside and divide it amoungst the other brothers etc...

That was all the ez part. The hard part is she collected things like a pack rat... from books, to movies to clothes or anything she got at a garage sale she thought she might be able to give to someoen to help them. She also had tons and tons of stocked up can food as as was on a fixed income since her and dad were divorced.

What do you do with all this crap. We gave and gave to every charity , friend or passer bye who would take the stuff for not wanting to throw it all away. But eventually we had to. We tossed stuff and oddly enough it was things like a dress you knew no one else would ever wear but reminded you of her but really needed to go. What do you do with those things. She like to sew or knit. No one else I know does anymore. She has an assortment of about 100 rolls of thread. How can you trash .. how can you keep it. It is those things that hurt.

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[TastinGood]

My parents did all that preplanning stuff and have everything ready to go.

And I dunno about your mom picking out all that stuff, but it really sounds like it wouldve driven me crazy.

Do colors really matter?!?! I mean fuck....you're dead! We all try to look pretty enough to go around and impress other people enough when we're alive, at least let us say "Fuck it" when we die!

As for me, just toss me in a river somewhere...I dont care...IM DEAD! Hmm....on second thought I think that I would like to be incorporated into a motocross track as a jump or a whoop. So many people die and just go on selfishly taking up space for the rest of eternity. BASTARDS! I would help contribute for future generations!

Heck, they could call me "The Harmon Hump".

Man...that'd rock.